


M is for...

by HornedQueenOfHell



Category: Miraculous Ladybug
Genre: A lot - Freeform, Adrien Agreste Is Sunshine, Aged-Up Character(s), Angst, Chat Noir Being Chat Noir, Chat needs a hug, F/M, Hanahaki Disease, Heavy Angst, Meaning of flowers, Mention of Eating Disorders, Oblivious Marinette Dupain-Cheng, Plagg Cares, Plagg hates when his kittens suffer, Poor Adrien, Vomiting Blood, but I decide to hurt him, chat is suffering, false acusations, implied soulmates, puns, this is not a happy ending, trigger warning
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-12
Updated: 2018-03-12
Packaged: 2019-03-30 07:59:29
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,606
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13947210
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HornedQueenOfHell/pseuds/HornedQueenOfHell
Summary: ...Miraculous, ...M'Lady, ...Mari-





	M is for...

**Author's Note:**

> So just in case you skipped the tags on this Chat Noir is #suffering. And this will not have a happy ending.

Adrien was sitting in class daydreaming about Ladybug when he first felt the tickle in his throat. He tried clearing it, swallowing, and finally he gave a small cough to try and clear it. He never expected a wet flower petal to be plastered to his knuckle when he pulled his hand away. The petal was red with a yellow edge, honestly it was beautiful. But Adrien hadn’t been near any flowers like that before, much less had the ability to accidentally swallow a petal. He couldn’t understand but shrugged it off, maybe it had happened when he crashed into something as Chat or visited Marinette since she had a lot of flowers on her balcony.

Thinking nothing of it the blonde wiped away the petal and returned to his studies.

Two weeks later he coughed up another petal, once was strange but twice was impossible. He was in his room this time and Plagg’s ears drooped when the tiny god’s eyes settled on the petal,

“Oh kitten,” He sighed.

Adrien had never heard that tone from his kwami before, he held the petal in his fingers and studied it.

“What is it Plagg? I’m not near flowers often enough for this to happen.”

Plagg took the petal from him, holding it between his paws,

“It’s called Hanahaki Disease. It’s rare these days, not many people have a strong enough connection to get it.”

“What do you mean?”

“It’s a disease that affects people suffering from an unrequited love. As long as Ladybug refuses to return your affections you will keep coughing up petals.”

“So I cough up a petal every now and again until my Lady decides to give me a chance, that doesn’t seem too bad.”

Plagg shook his head, he flew away for a second to throw the petal in the trash before returning to settle in Adrien’s hands.

“It will become more frequent, then you’ll cough up multiple petals, and then entire flowers.” Well that sounded gross.

Adrien could feel the kwami trembling, he cuddled Plagg close to his heart and tried to soothe him. “So how do we cure it?”

“Either Ladybug must return your love- and I mean love not friendship not partners- or there is a potion you can drink that will cure you.”

“Well I wouldn’t want to force Ladybug into anything and besides the potion doesn’t sound too bad.”

Plagg kneaded Adrien’s shirt in his paws, he’d lost many a kitten to this disease already, “There’s a side effect to the potion, a nasty one.”

Adrien kept up the petting as he waited for the god to continue.

“The potion will remove any feelings of love you have for Ladybug.”

The model physically recoiled at the news, “And what happens if I don’t get her to return my feelings?”

Plagg mumbled something into the collar of his shirt, the blonde lifted the god up and asked him to repeat what he’s mumbled.

“You’ll die.”

~0~

It took ten days for the next petal to fall from his lips, a week for the one after. Three days, two days, and then one daily. It was easy to hide those for the first few weeks, the tickle in his throat only got worse though.

The first time he coughed up two petals in one day it came during an akuma attack. He couldn’t stop fingering his throat as they fought the wind-based akuma. It wasn’t until a piece of furniture that had been flying around hit him in the back that he was finally able to dislodge the second petal. He scraped it off his cheek with a claw and flung it away.

Ladybug gave him a raised eyebrow of confusion but he shrugged her off and they returned to the fight. Afterward she tried to ask if he was okay but for once he was the one abandoning his lady on a rooftop, vaulting away claiming his miraculous was about to let out.

The next day Adrien was coughing on his way into the school and Nino, being a good friend, thumped him on the back.

“Dude are you getting sick or something because you’ve been coughing a lot.” The petal had fallen into his open locker and thanks to the door Nino hadn’t seen anything.

Adrien shrugged, “I can’t tell yet if it’s allergies or a bad reaction to something but I’m figuring it out.” Lying outright wouldn’t work on Nino anymore, he’d picked up too many observational skills from his girlfriend.

“My sympathies, hopefully your old man is being cool about it.”

The boy laughed very ungracefully, “You expect my father to be cool with anything?” Point conceded the two boys finally joined the girls in class.

He began to cough up up the second one in the car, but with the gorilla’s eyes on him he kept swallowing it down until he could get to his room where he was promptly sick. 

Plagg rubbed his shoulder as he dry-heaved, there were at least five or six petals floating in the water as well. Adrien was frightened by the multiple petals but Plagg reassured him it wouldn’t be like this for a while, it wasn’t comforting. He lay there against the wall until his kwami reminded him he had patrol tonight. Struggling to his feet, Adrien transformed and sighed in relief at Plagg’s energy washing over him. He opened the bathroom window and took off into the night.

“Hey chaton, ready to g- are you alright?” 

He looked up at her and wondered how bad he must look for her to notice the moment he arrived. He gave her a gallant bow, “I’ll be puurfectly fine my Lady, just a bad reaction to something but I’m so paw-leased that you’re worried about little ol’ me.”

“Of course I’m worried Chat, you’re my friend,” Just hearing her say ‘friend’ made him want to cough up another petal. “We’ll have an easy patrol tonight so you can go home and get some sleep.”

She pat him on the shoulder and took out her yo-yo, Chat sighed and followed her as she swung off the building.

Patrol lasted for about an hour and was completely quiet, when she declared them done for the evening Chat was perched on the edge of the building, his tail swishing agitatedly. 

“My Lady?” She turned to him and tilted her head in an almost cat-like gesture waiting for him to continue, “Would, would you ever consider...?”

“What is it Chat?”

“Never mind, good night.” He leapt off the building before she could stop him.

That night he cried, the disease kept his stomach from settling all night and he’d started running a small fever. Plagg said that the Miraculous would both help and hurt with the disease. When he was fighting it would hold the symptoms back, unless he pushed himself too far, but he would also suffer it’s wrath when the transformation wore off.

The next morning brought itchy eyes, a sore throat, and several petals in his bed. The proof that his Lady didn’t feel the same for him hurt more than any of her playful rejections ever could.

Nino told Adrien he looked like shit the second he arrived at school, Alya concurred. It was Marinette’s gentle hand on his elbow that brought the first genuine smile to his face in days. She still struggled to speak to him but it seems she could swallow her possible distaste for him at the moment, her heart was big like that. He pat her hand and said he didn’t sleep well last night is all, the others just nodded and they made their way to class.

He didn’t throw up a single petal that day, as much as he didn’t want it to it got his hopes up, until Plagg explained. Not only did his suffering last night placate the disease but any form or gesture of affection from his lady could act as a temporary placebo. 

Adrien was so excited upon hearing that, it meant his lady was close! He had to tell Marinette! 

Marinette was sitting on her chaise reading a fashion magazine when she heard the knock on her skylight. 

“It’s open kitty.” She called softly, her parents were probably still in the bakery but she’d rather not risk it by being too loud. 

Chat dropped down, carefully avoiding getting his boots in her bed. The resident heroic cat-boy slid down the rail of her stairs before bounding onto her chaise lounge. His tail was swishing softly and Mari couldn’t help but chuckle at him.

“Someone’s in a good mood.” She lay her magazine aside and poked Chat in the side with her foot. Chat flopped down onto her legs hugging them as he began to purr. She lay her hands in his hair and scratched, causing his purr to get louder and for her kitty to nuzzle her thigh making her blush. “A really good mood, what’s gotten into you?”

“Can’t I just be happy to see my princess?”

She arched an eyebrow and watched Chat’s blush spread from under the edge of his mask.

“I found out that my lady if fairly close to me, she may even go to my school.” He felt Marinette tense under him, why would she do that when she appeared to be smiling at him?

“Really, that’s nice Chat.” She looked tense and on edge, Chat wondered what had set her off? 

Before he could ask her he felt that tickle in his throat that had been absent all day return with a vengeance. He leaned over the edge of her chaise, one clawed hand around his throat as he hacked. 

“My God Chat!” Mari was at his side in an instant her hand between his shoulder blades. She shh’d him and rubbed his back until the coughing subsided. Chat held several petals in his hand which he destroyed with a quiet cataclysm. 

He stood and made for her skylight, without a glance back at her he murmured, “Sorry to disturb you Mari.” And then he was gone.

“Chat” Her voice warbled as she shook from her position on her chaise one hand still outstretched to the spot where her partner had just been. Mari couldn’t sleep that night, worry for Chat burned through her body. Her flirty kitty was hurting, maybe he was sick? He’d seemed perfectly fine when he arrived, he’d claimed he’d found out that Ladybug was close to him and Mari had felt herself freeze. She’d worried he’d found her out and wanted her to confess to him under her own steam. But if he had figured her out and they went to school together then who was he? As she tried to think her way out of her current mess her eyes landed on one of her photos of Adrien and her heart couldn’t help but sigh in appreciation. 

That was when Chat started coughing, he hadn’t thrown up thankfully but he’d coughed like he was dying. She was worried about him, she’d caught the fragmented hints he’d dropped that his home life was less than pleasant. And he was so very thin. Next time, she vowed, she’d take better care of her friend; because if she didn’t, who would?

“Plag-g.” Adrien whimpered from the floor of his bedroom, “Plagg what happened?” The kwami was glaring at a photo on his desk like he wanted to claw straight through the glass. Those big green eyes softened though as he floated down to land in his chosen’s palm. 

“It must have been Ladybug, her advances will slow the disease but her rejections will progress it.”

“I-I wasn’t near Ladybug though.” 

Plagg didn’t respond to that, when Adrien could breath a little better the tiny god convinced him to at least crawl into bed. 

The next day both Adrien and Mari looked awful, both kids made flimsy excuses and tried to not fall asleep at their desks. Halfway through the day though there was an akuma attack. Mari groaned and Adrien bit back a whimper arms clutching his stomach, it had been churning since he’d said a tired hello to the girls behind him. He managed to slip away while everyone ran for cover and transformed in the bathroom. The rush of energy he received as the suit enclosed his skin made Adrien take a mental note to feed Plagg well after this. He made it to the roof and was trying to scout the akuma when he heard a pair of soft footsteps land beside him.

“My Lady” He inclined his head toward her, she smiled and placed a hand on his arm,

“You feeling any better?” Oh right, he’d been sick the last time they were together too.

“Pawsitively puuurfect bugaboo, now let’s kick akuma ass!” He did pretty well he will say, it didn’t take them long to defeat the disgruntled victim of Hawkmoth. Unfortunately it was the aftermath that caused everything to fall apart. 

After their customary fistbump Chat curled his fingers around Ladybug’s and pulled her hand up to place a kiss to her fingers. She pulled her hand from his light grip though and pushed him away with a finger and a teasing comment he couldn’t hear over his rebelling body.

Ladybug had expected another flirty remark after she pushed her silly Tomcat away, she hadn’t expected him to fall to the ground curled up and whining in pain.

“Chat? Chat!” She knelt down and checked him over for injuries believing he’d taken a hit from the akuma she’d missed. Chat’s teeth were grinding and his feet kicked futilely against the roof as he groaned and whimpered. She pulled his head into her lap whispering soothing words to him. Slowly he began to settle, his claws which had been embedded in the roof came free, and he began to breathe like a normal human again. 

She wanted to ask what was wrong with him, wanted to shake him and demand to know why he had lied to her about being alright...she wanted to hold him close and fight off the rest of the world with one hand if she had to.

His eyes flickered open and finally focused on her, it took her several moments of being lost in those eyes to find her voice.

“Chat, w-hat...why yo-”

“Shh shh.” He hand weakly brushing her cheek silenced her, “I didn’t ever want it to be like this but I think I need to know.” He needed an answer, he was willing to live or die at her hand but he needed an answer as to which it would be. His body wasn’t her yo-yo, he couldn’t bounce back and forth like this for months like he had when he’d first gotten the disease. Plagg hadn’t been willing to say it but he knew, this constant rollercoaster would tear his body apart faster than the natural progression of the disease ever could.

“Please tell me Ladybug, will you ever give this black cat a chance?” She’d held his hand to her cheek with her own but as the last words of his question passed his lips her grip slackened and their hands fell to his chest.

“Ch-chat I-I-I,” She took a deep breath and pressed her forehead to his, “...I can’t, I I lo... my heart belongs to someone else.” 

He choked on the feeling rising in his chest, he knew better but he couldn’t help but swallow it down. He’d already been seen so weak in front of her, he couldn’t let her see this too. Above him she still rambled,

“...if he wasn’t,” she choked on her words, “if I didn’t....I-I, maybe Chaton, had you come into my life first. It would have been you. But I-I can’t and Chat...Chat you’re scaring me. You’re sick and I can’t help you until you tell me how. Please let me take you to a hospital or something!”

“So there’s someone else?” He whispered, he could feel another wave of nausea hit him and he knew he wouldn’t be able to hold this back for much longer.

“Ye- no, ....I don’t know.” But that was all he needed. With the speed of someone ill who is about to vomit Chat lunged out of her lap and jumped off the roof barely managing to pull out his baton to slow his descent in time. He still slammed into an awning, his arms too weak to hold him securely, before rolling to the ground in the alley. He managed to get to his hands and knees before he vomited flowers and blood. 

Ladybug had sat frozen until Chat disappeared from view on the roof, with a strangled cry of his name she flung herself to her the edge of the roof scanning the alley for her feline partner. It wasn’t until she heard the sound of his retching that she spotted him. Her hands covered her mouth horrified, why hadn’t he said he was so sick? Then a green glow enveloped him and Ladybug turned away as Chat detransformed. 

The vomiting got worse and she could hear the pained sniffs from his suffering. Her heart screamed at her to go to him, but he was a civilian now. Would he want her to see him like that? Not just as his normal self but so weak too? 

Her earings beeped before she could make a decision and clenching her hands into fists she bit back frustrated tears of helplessness as she grabbed her yo-yo and flung herself towards home. She’d put in an anonymous tip for the paramedics to check on him if he was still there. 

“She’s gone” Plagg murmured doing his best to keep the stray locks of Adrien’s hair out of his eyes. Sobs wracked the boy’s body as bloody flowers fell from his lips. Their heads snapped up when they heard voices approaching and using the last dregs of his strength he managed to run through the alleys until he was close to home. 

He stopped to catch his breath and try to wipe away some of the mess that must be on his face. Plagg scrubbed the bloody saliva trails from his chin as Adrien swiped his eyes to hide the tear tracks. Plagg hid in his overshirt as he snuck into the mansion. It wasn’t until he got to his room that he remembered his backpack had been forgotten at school. Fighting back the urge to scream Adrien collapsed onto his bed and breathed deeply. 

“Kitten?” Plagg called, Adrien sighed and sat up to see his kwami hovering above his bag.

“How?” Plagg sneered and yanked the note pinned to the bag off, he flashed the Ladybug symbol on it to Adrien before crumpling it up and throwing it out the window. “Plagg that’s not nice.” Adrien’s voice was scratchy and abused but he still gave his kwami the most genuine smile he could manage. He got through his homework as quickly as he could with only a few petals interrupting his studies. 

The next morning Nathalie informed him that he had a photo shoot and would be missing some class, Adrien sighed but acquiesced. 

He was getting fitted for a pair of dress pants when the costume designer tutted at him.

“Adrien these are loose on you, have you lost weight?” The question was as loaded as they came, the implication in her words. Adrien’s cheeks mottled with a mixture of emotions at the level of accusation in her tone. Like her, he’d always been against the standards models were held to and the barbaric acts they committed in the name of beauty. Before he could open his mouth to give her a piece of his mind he found himself running to the bathroom to do what she was almost accusing him of. 

“Finally off your high horse Agreste?” One of the models sneers as he stumbles from the bathroom stall. 

It didn’t get any easier vomiting up the flowers, he’d tried searching for the petals assuming it was something small but it wasn’t until he’d begun coughing up entire flowers that he’d recognized them...not that it comforted or helped him any. 

The tailor, who had followed him, puts her arm around him and helps him away from the models. They all titter and laugh at him, he knows by the end of the day it’ll probably be in some trash magazine. 

“Oh sweetie, does your dad know you’re sick?” Adrien shakes his head, his dad would have to be around...or care, to know. The tailor sighs and grabs more pins, 

“I’m going to finish this as quickly as I can then you are going to go home and at least tell Nathalie so she can head off those hyenas.” The young man nodded with a grateful smile and held as still as he could so she could work quickly.

When he got back he gave Nathalie as few details as he could get away with, frowning she adjusted her glasses and sent him to his room to get some sleep. 

Miserable and unsure what to do Adrien called on Plagg to become Chat Noir and leapt through his window into the Parisian evening. After a quick solo patrol he found himself wanting to drop in on Mari. Plagg growled in the back of his mind but refused to explain his reluctance to visit Adrien’s classmate. Still desiring comfort he continued on his way. 

Mari rushed to the trapdoor as soon as she heard his feet hit her balcony. The second his body had cleared the trapdoor she was wrapped around him.

“You’re okay, you’re okay.” She murmured over and over again, he held her in his arms and tried to sooth her as best he could.

“Of course I’m okay, why wouldn’t I be princess?”

“L-ladybug, she came to see me. She was hoping you’d be here. She said you got sick after the last akuma attack and couldn’t find you after she went to get the paramedics.” Chat laid his head on her shoulder trying to even out his breathing, he could feel another roll of nausea coming on.

“My miraculous timed out, she probably ran right past me as a civilian and never knew.”

“Oh Chat that’s horrible!” He began to cough a bit, pulling back from her so he was not coughing on her shoulder, she reached out to him concern and fear in those big, blue eyes.

“Chat are you sick? What’s wrong, what can I do to help?” He laughed mirthlessly and took her hand in his squeezing it lightly.

“Oh princess, I’m afraid you can’t help me. I wish you could but that’s just not in the cards for me.” She looked at him confused but before she could ask him any other questions another fit hit. His mouth filled with the taste of iron and flower and he scrambled down her ladder so he wasn’t throwing up in her bed. He missed a step though and fell to the ground vomit exploding from his mouth as he emptied his stomach on his classmates floor.

He could dimly hear Marinette shrieking his name and other things but his consciousness was slipping away. He was so gone he didn’t realize a second voice had joined Marinette’s.

“Marinette we need to take him to Master Fu now!” Tikki demanded paws squishing Mari’s cheeks.

“What’s wrong with him?! Why is he throwing up blood and flowers?” 

“I will tell you later but right now Chat needs help!” Marinette transformed with little fanfare and gathered her kitty into her arms leaping from her balcony. 

She pounded on the massage parlor door until a very sleepy Master Fu answered. To say seeing a frantic Ladybug was strange would be a lie, but a frantic Ladybug carrying an unresponsive Chat Noir whose lips were covered in blood that was worrisome. 

“Bring him inside quickly.” She laid Chat down in the same room she’d brought Tikki to be healed before dropping her transformation. Tikki landing in her cupped hands and immediately looked at Chat.

“Oh Plagg.” She whimpered. 

Marinette quickly took a seat next to her partner as the tiny god flew away to help Master Fu. She brushed his hair away from his forehead, he was running a high fever. It’s strange, she thought, with his hair like this he almost looked like...

Before she could complete her though Chat began to convulse.

“Master Fu!” She cried as she tried to hold his flailing limbs down, the old man was beside her in a second pouring some blue mixture down Chat’s throat. 

Like a puppet with it’s strings cut her black cat collapsed into a heap. Master Fu placed his hand on Chat’s forehead and after a few moments he sighed,

“He will live.” That did not help Mari at all.

“What do you mean he will live, are you telling me Chat was going to die?!”

“Marinette!” Tikki flew over to her, “Please let me explain first. What Chat had was called Hanahaki disease, but it’s cured now!” Mari glanced over at Chat who now appeared to be sleeping, and melted into a puddle of relief. Her kitty would be okay.

The beep of his Miraculous brought her out of her relief, with a small sigh she leaned over and kissed his cheek.

“Sleep well Chaton, I’ll see you when you’re better.” She ruffled his hair again with a small smile, missing Tikki wringing her hands with worry. She was going to have to explain the rest to Marinette back home. 

~0~

Ladybug turned when she heard his boots hit the roof behind her. Turning she saw Chat retracting his baton and clipping it into place. She sprinted to him and eagerly wrapped her arms around him.

“Oh Chat I’ve missed you! How are yo-” His hands were firm on her shoulders as he gently pushed her away, she reluctantly released him. What the hell? Chat was usually so affectionate. 

“It’s time for patrol right, do you want to split it up so we can be done faster?” What? Chat always begged to patrol together. She thought back to what Tikki had told her; Chat had been suffering from a disease caused by unrequited love, that Master Fu cured. Maybe Chat was bitter about her not returning his affections? She tried to study him but he just gave her a flat look. It wasn’t until she met his eyes she realized the gravity of Tikki’s words. There was no spark in his eyes, no mischievous glitter, no lovesick eyelash batting. Master Fu had cured him, of his love for her. 

“Chat?” Tears welled in her eyes and she tried to reach for him again but he took a step back, he seemed so awkward like he had no idea what to do with physical affection. He cleared his throat and scratched his head awkwardly.

“Shall I take this half?” He asked, pointing behind him. Ladybug was numb, frozen solid just staring at him eyes filled with horror. 

Seeing as a response from her wasn’t likely he gave her a friendly smile and walked to the edge of the roof.

“Bye ladybug.” He called as he leapt to the next roof to start his patrol.

“Goodbye Chaton.” She managed to whisper before her heart shattered.

 

_M is for Miraculous, M’Lady, and Marigolds_

 

_Marigolds have multiple meanings in the language of flowers, two of them are ‘winning the affections of someone through hard work’ and ‘despair and grief over the loss of love’_

**Author's Note:**

> So the reason I gave Chat/Adrien Hanahaki instead of Mari is (and I'm basing this off every episode seen up till now) if Chat/Adrien continues to visit Mari it's clear he's going to start falling for her. Ladybug/Mari refuses to let Chat into her heart because she's still carrying a torch for Adrien. So because she only loves half of him is why Chat/Adrien not only has the disease but why it's tearing him apart the way it is. The fluctuating affection of Mari/LB between Chat and Adrien are what cause the disease to run haywire and escalate so quickly. Chat's behavior at the end is more of an Adrien response, Adrien having been homschooled and lacking affection would not know how to react to sudden bursts of physical comfort vs Chat who is/was in love with Ladybug and craved every touch he could get from her. 
> 
> I am not done torturing Chat with this but at least next time I plan to hurt him good.


End file.
